Today is Day 2.

The motivation is still very strong. I believe that a lot of this is my mindset as I know what I need to be eating, when to eat it, etc.

However, after so many days, weeks of eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, my body just isn’t used to…me treating it the way it is supposed to be treated.

The cravings are intense. The hunger is intense.

Distraction helps. I’ve been waiting 10 min every time I want to eat something. If I wait and I’m still wanting just as bad, I consider it, then wait another 10 min. Then I tell myself what I tell my daughter: Have an apple…if you’re not hungry enough to eat an apple, you’re not really hungry.

I also have to think about my triggers. I’m way too used to staying up late studying and eating while I do so. Or watching TV and eating.

For any addiction, you need to watch out for “HALT”: Hungry, angry, lonely, and tired.

I’ll add stressed. Emotional. I stress/emotional eat…scratch that, I emotional/stress binge eat. And once I start, I don’t stop. It’s incredible, the amount of damage you can do in a short amount of time, how much weight you gain in a month, two months, three months. This is further worsened with a lack of activity because of the resultant lack of motivation, the depression.

My stress level is lowered now, but this last year really did a number on me, and the stress won’t end any time soon. That is life.

I look at pictures from years past from NYE on FB (thanks, FB memories…) and I am sad to see these pictures, the ones I felt fat in at the time. Yeah, right. Far from!!!!

I will have to take pictures of me now soon, but here is the picture from 2011 (my low/goal weight):


And here is the picture of me and my daughter in late July.


I have gained literally 40 pounds since then, but the pictures I take of myself don’t reflect that. It’s only when someone ELSE takes the photo that you see the gain (or see me in person).

Rather than feeling depressed about this, right now it’s having the opposite effect. It has me motivated. I will get back to the 2011 me…except better. The Rising Phoenix. Older, wiser, better.

Soon, I will be blogging about my goals. There will be separate posts as I have goals related to life in general, races/running, etc.

Here is to a strong end to 2017!!!


2 thoughts on “Withdrawals

  1. I love you, friend. You’ve got this!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. you can do this!! it takes a few days to really get over the withdrawal feelings!

    Liked by 1 person

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